FBI Director Admittedly Confused

                You would think that the Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigations would be an intelligent person. You would think, but you would be wrong. FBI Director James Comey is actually a complete moron, dunce cap included. His action figure would probably even come with a dunce cap glued to the top of its little head so it can’t be removed by mistake. Here are a few recent examples why:

                Mr. Comey claims to be confused when people refer to former NSA contractor Edward Snowden as a whistleblower and a hero. Confused? Really? How is it hard to understand that a) people consider the man revealing mass privacy breaches and law-breaking by the federal government to be a hero, and b) that he is, in fact a whistleblower? A whistleblower awareness poster by the Office of Special Counsel indicates that a whistleblower “discloses information that he or she reasonably believes evidences: a violation of any law, rule or regulation, gross mismanagement, and an abuse of authority.” Didn’t the evidence that Snowded provided prove instances of those offenses? I believe it did. If any of this confuses the Director of the FBI, we have a serious problem.

                Mr. Comey was quoted saying, “I have trouble applying the whistleblower label to someone who just disagrees with the way our country is constructed and operates.” Okay, jackass. That’s not why he’s labeled a whistleblower. If that were the reason why, millions of people would have that label. Snowden is a whistleblower because he fits the criteria provided by another federal agency. The federal government isn’t on the same page; big surprise there. I believe that Mr. Comey is just trying to make light of the situation and take away some of Snowden’s credibility with bullshit comments like that. Nice try, but we’re not buying it.

                The most absurd part of this whole story has to be what Mr. Comey had to say about this government program that conducts electronic surveillance on both U.S. and international citizens. Mr. Comey (did I mention he’s the DIRECTOR OF THE FBI?) believes that this program is an example of our government operating in the way that its framers intended. I’ll give you a moment to take in the sheer stupidity and absurdity of that belief. Go ahead and read it again.

                Now, if I’m wrong and somewhere in the Declaration of Independence or the Constitution of the United States (the documents our founding fathers created at the inception of these United States) it says that illegally obtaining communications and information on both citizens and non-citizens is acceptable, then slap my ass and call me Betty. Wasn’t the purpose of creating the United States to escape from the tyrannical ways of the British and establish our rights as people? Didn’t the founding fathers specifically structure the government in such a way as to provide a system of checks and balances so that one branch could not become too powerful?

I’m sure that none of the founding fathers would condone the actions of the NSA and our government as it behaves today. They believed in granting freedoms and creating a government that feared the people, not the other way around. It would appear that Mr. Comey needs a history lesson and that, in case you didn’t pick up on it, something is seriously wrong with the people we have running this country.

Your Pal,

-The Absurdist

** Information used in this post came from a USA Today article by Gregory Korte: FBI director confused by talk of Snowden as whistle-blower **